Chapter 13

The pursuit of external validation is a trap – approval comes and goes, leaving us feeling uncertain. True freedom lies in developing a strong sense of self that rests on our own internal values.

Favor and disgrace seem alarming.
High status greatly afflicts your person.
Why are favor and disgrace alarming?
Seeking favor is degrading: alarming when it is gotten, alarming when it is lost.

In tech, the line between "favor" (recognition) and "disgrace" (failure) is thin. This fuels an exhausting performance cycle. Triumph feels short-lived, replaced by anxiety about the next sprint, the next deliverable. There's always something more to prove.

Why does high status greatly afflict your person?
The reason we have a lot of trouble is that we have selves.
If we had no selves, what trouble would we have?

The tech world glorifies individual achievement. Yet burnout often hits those who have conflated their self-worth with their work identity. Separating who you are from what you do allows for more stability when projects fail or accolades dry up.

Man's true self is eternal,
yet he thinks, I am this body and will soon die.
If we have no body, what calamities can we have?

The obsession with accomplishment leads us to tie our identity to our finite output and status. Recognizing your "true self" as something beyond job titles, metrics, and material achievements offers a way to transcend the anxieties bound to these worldly things.

One who sees himself as everything
is fit to be guardian of the world.
One who loves himself as everyone
is fit to be teacher of the world.

Seeing oneself as "everything" could reflect a need to step back and view our work within larger cycles of innovation and progress. Seeing oneself as "everyone" invokes shared humanity and the need for balance that's often absent in tech.